Richard's Online Journal

Greetings and salutations. In case you were wondering, Richard Cobbett is a writer and journalist and producer of many other things involving words. He likes cats, hates spiders, and plays a lot of games. This is his website...

[20/11/08] Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties

Sorry for the lack of posts of late. Too busy. Too much to do. Too many games to play. Games… completely unlike Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties. Any PC Gamer reader will know this one by reputation - a truly foul piece of gaming from back in the days when little movies in computer games seemed like The Future. It was a running joke in the magazine for over a decade… in fact, I’m sure it was referenced only a couple of months back, quite possibly by me. But why mention it now? Why invoke its dark name in 2009?

Because someone’s made a fully functional YouTube version. The pain begins… now!

Don’t be fooled by the angry, somewhat bipolar FMV lady in her bra - so-called adult game or not, PDWT is as objectively erotic as an Ayn Rand striptease. The bit above is the only bit of movie in the whole game, and even in the uncensored version, all you got later on was a shot of a guy’s bottom and half a nipple. The rest is simply a photostory with truly scary narration created by… I don’t know. I really don’t. Just remember, whoever they were, whatever pit in Hades they crawled out of, they actually wanted to sell this game to actual humans. For human currency. They’d have been better off gift-wrapping their own faeces and calling it Chocolate Surprise.

Brr. Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties. Quite possibly the worst game in the history of all time. And yes, that includes ET. And Big Rigs. And Max Payne.

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